From You Can Say That Again!
Put a smile on someone's face today -- our seasoned collection's ripe to be shared!My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that's the law.
-- Jerry Seinfeld
Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
-- Satchel Paige
All would live long, but none would be old.
-- Benjamin Franklin
Age is a high price to pay for maturity.
-- Tom Stoppard
Each has his past to shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can only read the title.
-- Virginia Woolf
Beautiful young people are accidents of nature, but beautiful old people are works of art.
-- Eleanor Roosevelt
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
-- Lucille Ball
Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
While there's snow on the roof, it doesn't mean the fire has gone out in the furnace.
-- John G. Diefenbaker
Men become much more attractive when they start looking older. But it doesn't do much for women, though we do have an advantage: makeup.
-- Bette Davis
And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
-- Abraham Lincoln
You're only as young as the last time you changed your mind.
-- Timothy Leary
I wasted time, and now doth time waste me.
-- William Shakespeare
There's nothing worse than being an aging young person.
-- Richard Pryor
There is still no cure for the common birthday.
-- John Glenn
My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.
-- Milton Berle
Time goes by. Reputation increases, ability declines.
-- Dag Hammarskjöld
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
-- George Burns
Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young.
-- Fred Astaire
I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.
-- George Carlin
If wrinkles must be written upon our brows, let them not be written upon the heart. The spirit should never grow old.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith
I'll see a beautiful girl walking up to me and I'll think, Oh, my God, I can't believe my good luck. But then she'll say, "Where's your son?" or "My mother loves you."
-- James Caan
You know you're getting old when all the names in your black book have M.D. after them.
-- Arnold Palmer
It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash.
-- Josh Billings
Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age.
-- Christopher Marley
Cheese and Candles
Forty is the age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age.-- Victor Hugo
Beware of the young doctor and the old barber.
-- Benjamin Franklin
You can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life but they would assassinate you.
-- Mark Twain
Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug.
-- John Lithgow
You can judge your age by the amount of pain you feel when you come in contact with a new idea.
-- Pearl S. Buck
You know you're getting old when you get to that one candle on the cake. It's like, "See if you can blow this out."
-- Jerry Seinfeld
I look better, feel better, make love better and I'll tell you something else... I never lied better.
-- George Burns
To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent -- that is to triumph over old age.
-- Thomas Bailey Aldrich
Gray hair is God's graffiti.
-- Bill Cosby
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act.
-- Truman Capote
You know you're getting old when you've got money to burn, but the fire's gone out.
-- Hy Gardner
I have a problem about being nearly 60: I keep waking up in the morning and thinking I'm 31.
-- Elizabeth Janeway
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
-- Ellen DeGeneres
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
-- Satchel Paige
I used to dread getting older because I thought I would not be able to do all the things I wanted to do, but now that I am older I find out I don't want to do them.
-- Nancy Astor
Age is not important unless you're a cheese.
-- Helen Hayes
Men should think twice before making widowhood women's only path to power.
-- Gloria Steinem
A man who correctly guesses a woman's age may be smart, but he's not very bright.
-- Lucille Ball
A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.
-- John Barrymore
At my age flowers scare me.
-- George Burns
Of all the self-fulfilling prophecies in our culture, the assumption that aging means decline and poor health is probably the deadliest.
-- Marilyn Ferguson
You must have been warned against letting the golden hours slip by; but some of them are golden only because you let them slip by.
-- James M. Barrie
When doctors and undertakers meet, they always wink at each other.
-- W.C. Fields
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
-- Redd Foxx
Age is no guarantee of maturity.
-- Lawana Blackwell
More Wise Words
The dead might as well try to speak to the living as the old to the young.-- Willa Cather
If you live long enough, the venerability factor creeps in; first, you get accused of things you never did, and later, credited for virtues you never had.
-- I. F. Stone
I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?
-- Carol Burnett
One of the good things about getting older is you find you're more interesting than most of the people you meet.
-- Lee Marvin
Another belief of mine: that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise.
-- Margaret Atwood
It is very strange that the years teach us patience -- that the shorter our time, the greater our capacity for waiting.
-- Elizabeth Taylor
It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.
-- Jackie Mason
I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that does make my sons look illegitimate.
-- Nancy Astor
A legend is an old man with a cane known for what he used to do. I'm still doing it.
-- Miles Davis
To me, old age is 15 years older than I am.
-- Bernard M. Baruch
When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my 50s I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
-- George Burns