Fun for the Whole Family
Kid around with these famous personalities as they share their thoughts about moms, dads, and raising children:Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You’ll realize this as soon as they are born and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.
-- Ray Romano in Everything and a Kite (Bantam)
There are two things in life for which we are never prepared: twins.
-- Josh Billings
My parents treated me like I had a brain -- which, in turn, caused me to have one.
-- Diane Lane in Hollywood Life
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
-- Milton Berle
What's a good investment? Go home from work early and spend the afternoon throwing a ball around with your son.
-- Ben Stein on CNN
There is no such thing as "fun for the whole family."
-- Jerry Seinfeld
I'm not going to have a better day, a more magical moment, than the first time I heard my daughter giggle.
-- Sean Penn in O, the Oprah Magazine
Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.
-- James Baldwin
I figure somewhere between kid number one and number seven, I must have learned a few things.
-- Mel Gibson in McCall's
Outings are so much more fun when we can savor them through the children's eyes.
-- Lawana Blackwell
With kids, the days are long, but the years are short.
-- John Leguizamo in InStyle
If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much.
-- Jackie Kennedy Onassis
Being a dad is the greatest, except for assembling things.
-- Conan O'Brien in People
The American Dream is not to own your own home but to get your kids out of it.
-- Dick Armey
Pickles and Onion Rings
I know enough to know that when you're in a pickle… call Mom.-- Jennifer Garner in InStyle
We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next 12 years telling them to sit down and shut up.
-- Phyllis Diller
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
-- Carol Burnett
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
-- Erma Bombeck
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
-- Fran Lebowitz
Motherhood is a wonderful thing. What a pity to waste it on children.
-- Judith Pugh
Grown-ups never understand anything for themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
A king, realizing his incompetence, can either delegate or abdicate his duties. A father can do neither. If only his sons could see the paradox, they would understand the dilemma.
-- Marlene Dietrich
Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.
-- Garrison Keillor
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