From A Little Spark of Madness
Offstage, comedians pay bills, tie their shoes, and hunt for parking spaces just like the rest of us. They're good at what they do because they're keen observers of humankind and because they're good communicators. Here are some of their serious thoughts -- more wise than wisecracking.Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
-- Victor Borge
A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
-- Jerry Seinfeld
Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: "Are you ready?"
-- Johnny Carson
Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive.
-- Mel Brooks
If you want something done, ask a busy person to do it. The more things you do, the more you can do.
-- Lucille Ball
You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.
-- Robin Williams
If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it!
-- Jonathan Winters
The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods.
-- Bill Cosby
If you have it and you know you have it, then you have it. If you have it and don't know you have it, you don't have it. If you don't have it but you think you have it, then you have it.
-- Jackie Gleason
More Stand-Up Sayings
I've had a few arguments with people, but I never carry a grudge. You know why? While you're carrying a grudge, they're out dancing.-- Buddy Hackett
Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, 'cause hate in your heart will consume you too.
-- Will Smith
Failure seldom stops you. What stops you is the fear of failure.
-- Jack Lemmon
The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
-- Steve Martin
Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.
-- Bob Newhart
Armageddon is not around the corner. This is only what the people of violence want us to believe. The complexity and diversity of the world is the hope for the future.
-- Michael Palin
If you send out good people into the world, you know you've done something good.
-- Carl Reiner
Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly -- hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear.
-- Joan Rivers
Live by this credo: Have a little laugh at life and look around you for happiness instead of sadness. Laughter has always brought me out of unhappy situations.
-- Red Skelton