From Cords of Steel
For a chart-topping star, Kelly Clarkson is remarkably down-to-earth. Literally. An hour ago, the 25-year-old was basking in the adulation of 4,000 screaming fans in Burbank's Johnny Carson Park. Now she's sprawled on her dressing room floor, wolfing down an energy bar. "I'm sorry to be eating," she says in her slight Texas drawl. "I just haven't had a chance to grab anything."
Life's like that these days for Clarkson, who, after winning the Fox Network's 2002 American Idol competition, has grabbed two Grammys and sold nearly 15 million records. Her newest CD, My December, reveals a sharper, darker edge. When record executives balked, she fought back -- and won the right to define her sound. But with ticket sales slow, Clarkson budged and canceled her summer tour days before My December's scheduled release, saying that it was "too much, too soon." Was it?
Just under five-foot-four, Clarkson has proved to be one determined powerhouse. She grew up the youngest of three in Burleson, a Fort Worth suburb. When she was six, her parents divorced, and music became her refuge. It wasn't until she hit her teens that she realized it could be her salvation. Her voice -- "cords of steel," said one music instructor -- has made her millions, and given her a sense of control in her life that she'd never dreamed of.
And even though Idol hit maker Simon Cowell has said that Clarkson has "one of the best pop voices in the world right now," much of her charm comes from her everyday approachability. "I'm really not that interesting," she says. When RD sat down with her -- yes, on the floor -- we found out otherwise.
RD: You said being on American Idol was one of the best and worst times.
Clarkson: It was definitely one of the best. I had so much fun. But at the same time, I have never been that tired in my entire life.
RD: You've also said you went through a bout of depression shortly after that.
Clarkson: There came a point when it hit me: I have nowhere I'd want to go on this planet where people don't know me. And I'd been going for two years, touring and promoting. It just caught up with me. I had good people around me, but all the nice people in the world can't help you when you're that down. So I took some time and went on vacation with my friends and family, kind of called it quits. I have no desire to be the biggest star on the planet. You can keep it, Madonna.
RD: Your new album has a different sound for you.
Clarkson: The first single and two more are kind of edgy. The others, they're softer, and one's way more pop-y. The CD is a good mix, because I love hard and soft stuff. I get tired of people saying you have to have one sound.
Too Many Cooks
RD: There have been rumors that RCA Records head Clive Davis didn't like this album.
Clarkson: There've been a lot of cooks in the kitchen on all three of my albums. Everybody wants a success, so that's great. On the other hand, the kitchen gets real crowded. They hated "Miss Independent" on my first album. It was No. 1 for six weeks, then they got behind it. They hated "Breakaway." The song I wrote that they hated the most was "Because of You." I fought and fought for it, it became successful and they finally got behind it. I'm not complaining. I'll just say no until I get my way, and I did.
RD: So the album is coming out the way you wanted it?
Clarkson: Perfectly the way I wanted. It's my favorite thing I've done. It could sell two million or 12 million. I don't care. I just want people to hear it, instead of 100-year-old executives making decisions on what's good for pop radio. It's people my age who listen to it. My gut hasn't been wrong yet, so why wouldn't I continue to follow it?
RD: Are you angry that you've been second-guessed?
Clarkson: My parents didn't like me to complain. My stepdad, who is very spiritual, would say to put yourself in the other person's shoes before you get mad. So I'm good at stepping back.
RD: Let's talk about your childhood. You were a tomboy.
Clarkson: Very much so. I hated clothes, makeup, everything girly.
RD: You got naked a lot.
Clarkson: My mom would be embarrassed because at age one or two, I'd just take off my clothes and run through people's yards. I still hate clothes. Photo shoots and wardrobe fittings -- they're the death of me. I just don't care. It's not my thing.
RD: Your parents divorced when you were little, right?
Clarkson: First set, yeah. We're the American family here. There were two divorces. I was 19 the second time.
RD: Was that traumatic?
Clarkson: This is going to sound funny, but I wasn't sad about it. The first time, I knew my mother wasn't happy, and neither was my father. When you're six, everything's so simple.
RD: I thought music was your safe place, but maybe you didn't need a safe place.
Clarkson: I started writing because I would bottle it all up and try to be everything for everyone. And one or two days out of the year, I'd just blow up -- crying uncontrollably. My mom told me, "You got to write in a journal." I am so much more open when I'm writing. It just gets right out of me. Then it turned into music and lyrics.
RD: Your family also had a hard time financially and argued about money.
Clarkson: That was always a huge issue. I know money doesn't solve everything, but it solves a whole lot.
RD: How are you with your own money?
Clarkson: I have saved and saved, and I don't have to work another day. When I won Idol and started working with a business manager, she asked, "What do you want?" I was like, I don't ever want to have to make a decision because I need money. So we accomplished that two years ago, and I'm set.
Destined to Sing
RD: That was a very mature and practical way to go.
Clarkson: I grew up fast. I was really responsible. I had a job right when I could have a job. If I could've worked sooner, I would've. It's good because now I appreciate everything.
RD: What kind of job?
Clarkson: I mowed lawns. My stepdad's a contractor; I worked with him building porches. When I was 16, I worked in a movie theater until I moved to L.A. I've had other jobs too -- worked for Papa John's, Subway, Starbucks, sold vacuums door to door.
RD: Really? How was that?
Clarkson: It sucked.
RD: When did you decide you wanted to be a singer?
Clarkson: I was 13. At one of our high school shows, I sang Mariah Carey's "Vision of Love." When I finished, this old man, obviously someone's grandpa, came up to me and said, "God has given you this gift. You've got to sing. You're destined to sing." Nobody had ever said anything like that. That just rocked my world. I kept singing. Then I started classical training, because we didn't have a lot of money and if I was going to go to college, I'd have to get a scholarship. I ended up getting full rides to UT, UNT and Berklee, but then I didn't use them.
RD: Why not?
Clarkson: When it came time to graduate, I'd already written so much music and wanted to try on my own. And I figured you're never too old to go to college.
RD: In a society where most female pop stars are as skinny as sticks, you don't seem to care.
Clarkson: I fluctuate like every normal woman on the planet. I hate hanging around girls who only talk about their weight. I've always been curvy, which I like, and I think you should be healthy, obviously.
RD: When Idol began, it seemed to be about the American Dream and amateurs with talent showing their stuff.
Clarkson: It was! I did my own hair and makeup for the first half of the shows. What you saw us wearing was our stuff from home. We'd be in a magazine under the heading "What Was She Thinking?" I was like, I'm thinking I ain't got no money. I think that's what made it fun. It felt like you were at camp with a bunch of friends.
RD: Where's home these days?
Clarkson: I live in Texas on 50 acres. My house is my sanctuary. When I drive into my driveway, I turn my phone off. No one can get ahold of me. I live with my brother, and he's the coolest thing on the planet.
RD: Is it weird living with your brother?
Clarkson: No. He's fun to live with. We're like little kids. We buy toys, like go-karts. We build tree houses with zip lines. We go skeet shooting, we go bowling. I love karaoke bars. We play Guitar Hero.
RD: Living with your brother, dedicated to your music. So there's nobody special right now?
Clarkson: I've had great boyfriends. I've been "in like" a lot, but I've just never been in love. I don't want kids right now. I'm not looking to get married. I'm not rushing. Something cool is going to come along.
RD: What's next?
Clarkson: For the album after this one? We've already written a lot of the songs; it's kind of a country-blues-rock thing. Everyone should always expect something different from me. Who knows what it'll be? Well, I do.