What girl doesn’t dream of spending an evening in a fancy hotel’s penthouse suite with dreamboat Paul Rudd? So when I was invited to a ten-minute interview slot with the funnyman at the historic Waldorf Astoria in Manhattan, as part of his promotional tour for his new film with Tina Fey, Admission (out today!), I said yes and started planning my outfit right away. (Just kidding. Kind of.)
Rudd, who is as charming in person as the types he plays on screen (in Admission, he’s a single dad, who teaches at a prep school in Vermont) seemed game to answer my questions, and for a brief minute, no one was watching the clock.
Reader’s Digest: If you were applying to Princeton today, would you have made the cut?
Paul Rudd: No way. I didn’t have the grades at all.
What was the funniest/weirdest habit you had on set?
I used my hand and I’d go around taking pictures of people to make it look like they were standing in front of a naked butt.
How’d that turn out?
Great. Great. I won’t post them, I’ve collected them, though. I’ve got hundreds.
As Reader’s Digest, we curate stories from all over. So we picked this question from Reddit: Would you rather have the power to fly or the power to teleport?
Ooh…I would rather have the power to fly.
And from Cosmo: What amusement park ride would people compare you to?
The first thing that came to my mind is “It’s A Small World.” It isn’t threatening in any way, it’s a happy ride, and it annoys the hell out of you and you can’t stop thinking about it for two hours once you leave because it gets into your brain and drives you insane. And it’s international. And it’s filled with dancing puppets.
This one’s from our humor editor: If you could rewrite the end of Titanic to turn it into a comedy, how would it end?
It seems demeaning to take a true tragedy and somehow rewrite history to make a funny joke. Is it too soon? 1912? I know a lot about the Titanic. My dad was a Titanic expert.
What phrase would you replace “You sleep like a baby” with? You sleep like a ________
A gin-soaked Sigma Chi.
There’s more to life than _______
Smartphones. That’s probably not the best answer after doing a commercial for Samsung (he laughs).
Golden retrievers or poodles?
Dave Matthews or Eddie Vedder?
Eddie Vedder. I mean, he’s just a badass. You don’t agree with that? Eddie Vedder is a badass.
Smash or Downton Abbey?
I’d rather live in a world of Downton Abbey, because everyone sounds great and we wouldn’t have to listen to people singing all the time.
What is the worst advice you’ve given your kids?
The first thing that came to mind is “Two wrongs don’t make a right.” I think they totally do.
Admission is playing all over America, and we’re pretty sure it’s at your local multiplex right now.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.