As someone who buys upwards of 100 tickets a year on Ticketmaster.com, the bane of my existence are CAPTCHAs. This slick-sounding acronym stands for Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart. Um, what, you ask? These nearly impossible to decipher images (sample pictured here) are the code you have to crack before purchasing tickets on many major sites to prove that you are not a machine.
While CAPTCHAs are meant to prevent automated robots from sweeping up all the tickets to your favorite sporting event, theater outing or concert, they often have the opposite effect. Some major ticket reselling companies, like Wiseguys Tickets, have pleaded guilty in court for their CAPTCHA-breaking offenses. Instead of the tickets going to us, the good guys, we struggle to decode “Arma Virumque” while robots bypass these squiggly letters and numbers and auto-fill the field nearly instantaneously.
At last, though, there’s salvation for all of us who wake up early, log onto Ticketmaster at the exact on-sale moment and start frantically typing to crack the code, only to be rejected, and rejected, and rejected again (come on, Rush’s “Clockwork Angels” tour can’t be that popular). Ticketmaster announced today that they will start using new technology from a New York start-up that utilizes digital cues to decide if you’re a real person or not. So instead of combating CAPTCHA-fatigue, users will be asked to type in words that make sense, like, “cold water.” And best of all, while the average time needed to solve a Captcha puzzle is 14 seconds according to Ticketmaster, the recent innovation clocks in at a mere seven seconds. That’s only, oh, a mere 46,400 seconds less in my day devoted to getting tickets. Alas!
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.
More About Culture
What You’re Sharing
- These Adorable Bubblegum Machine Valentines Are Almost Too Cute to Give Away
- Why Are Roses So Popular for Valentine’s Day?
- If You Know 20 of These Tech Words, You Are Officially a Computer Genius
- How to Deal When Your Neighbors Won’t Take Down Their Christmas Lights
- 9 Tricks to Outsmart Criminals You Should Memorize Now