Stealing is wrong. This I know. But sometimes we take things that do not belong to us. These items are then cooked in mischief and wrapped in a secret. Sometimes, they become our most prized possessions.
The blog I Stole This From You is a catalog of these bits of wrong-doing. Accompanied with beautiful hand-drawn images and submitted anonymously, these tales knit together to create a society where old photos are stolen from ex-boyfriends and a pair of bowling shoes mysteriously winds up in your closet. These confessions are peppered with guilt and bliss and something beautiful that I can’t quite put my finger on.
And so, feeling inspired, I decided to share a swiped object of my own. I didn’t steal it, per se, but when I spotted this photo of my grandparents in an album, I knew I had to make it my own. My grandmother, Josephine Amitrano, and grandfather, Vincent Caporimo, stand beneath a pier in Brooklyn’s Coney Island, a stone’s throw away from where they met when they were 9 and 10 years old and started dating. Although they’ve both passed away, I still see these smiles when I think of them. The print has only been in my possession for a few months, but I already feel like I couldn’t live without it. If my apartment went up in flames, it would be the first item I’d take.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.