Have you seen what the American athletes are planning to wear for the opening ceremonies at the Olympics? Uniforms designed by Ralph Lauren—blue blazers, white trousers, and a smart, little cap. It’s wonderful … if you’re a retired yachtsmen cruising on the Long Island Sound to your 50th Choate/Rosemary Hall class reunion. Surely we can do better than these preppy duds. After all, America’s finest needs the finest outfit, one that screams, “Watch me run the mile in 12 seconds,” not, “I’ll have another Manhattan, Roderick.”
Luckily, there’s still time to rectify this grievous wrong. I’m looking at you, reader! Show us how you would deck out these All-American athletes. Sketch out your new American Olympic uniform designs and send them to firstname.lastname@example.org. We might even run them on our Web site.
Get your pad and pencil ready and make America proud. Give our athletes style! Give ‘em flair! But please, don’t make them look like they’ve just stepped out of an L.L. Bean catalog.
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
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@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
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