The 50 Worst Words in Fifty Shades of Grey

Fifty Shades of Grey
There’s been no shortage of media coverage of this erotica-lite trilogy, and frankly, it’s getting a little much. (You can only watch Billy Bush discuss it on Access Hollywood so many times). And yet I just had to share this hilarious take from New York Magazine’s The 50 Worst Synonyms in Fifty Shades of Grey.

Blogger Patti Greco takes Grey author EL James to task for using artificially elevated language and fancy synonyms (something I also couldn’t help noticing while reading all three books) and suggests “corrections” using a thesaurus and a little common sense. Here are a few of my favorites:

The offense: “I haven’t made any plans, Mr. Grey. I just need to get through my final exams. Which I should be studying for right now, rather than sitting in your palatial, swanky, sterile office, feeling uncomfortable under your penetrating gaze.”

The fix: Cut palatial…it means the same thing as swanky.

The offense: “I wanted to run my fingers through his decadent, untidy hair, but I’d been unable to move my hands.”

The fix: Cut. This makes no sense.

The offense: ” ‘Anastasia, you were comatose. Necrophilia is not my thing. I like my women sentient and receptive,’ he says dryly.”

The fix: ” ‘Anastasia, you were comatose. Necrophilia is not my thing. I like my women awake and able to feel what I’m doing,’ he says dryly.”

The offense: “My subconscious nods sagely, a you’ve-finally-worked-it-out-stupid look on her face.”

The fix: Stop personifying your subconscious.

Click here for the full list.

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