We Found Mad Men Season 6 Plots in Reader’s Digest!

Who knew the answers to the new season of AMC's hit show were hiding in our November 1967 issue.

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"The ad...looks as if it has time-traveled from the pages of an old copy of Reader’s Digest."

"The ad...looks as if it has time-traveled from the pages of an old copy of <i>Reader’s Digest</i>."
Or so we read in the New York Times, about Brian Sanders' promotional artwork for the new season of Mad Men. Huge fans, we figured if the poster could have been inspired by Reader's Digest, why not the plots? Guessing where the show picks up, we flipped through our November 1967 issue for pitch ideas. Available for a meeting whenever you are, Mr. Weiner.

Don Draper in:Do You Really Want to Stop Smoking?

Don Draper in:<br>Do You Really Want to Stop Smoking?
"'They experience a strange, nostalgic feeling,' says Dr. Frederickson, 'as if they do not want to separate themselves from an old friend, even when they know they could.'"—Condensed from Ladies' Home Journal

Brought to you by: Zippo

Brought to you by: Zippo
"How can Zippo be guaranteed for a lifetime? It's a very simple story."

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Megan Draper in:The Worth of a Wife

Megan Draper in:<br>The Worth of a Wife
"People who think up statistics about how much a wife is worth will list baby-sitting at 50 cents an hour, secretarial duties at $1.25, laundry at $10 a week, etc. It usually adds up to about $150 a week. This strikes me as selling the darling considerably short."—Condensed from Kansas City Star

Brought to you by: Anacin

Brought to you by: Anacin
"Turns off headache pain. Relieves its nervous tension and depression."

Betty Draper in:Tell It Like It Is

Betty Draper in:<br>Tell It Like It Is
"Too often we imply that learning is sheer fun, work is eternally interesting, and marriage is made in heaven."—Condensed from Contemporary

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Brought to you by: Volkswagen

Brought to you by: Volkswagen
"It's been replaced."

Sally Draper in:An Experiment in Sex Education

Sally Draper in:<br>An Experiment in Sex Education
"After 17 unmarried girls became pregnant in one year in our high school of 350 students, the administration decided to add a course in sex education to the curriculum."—By Jo Gorsuch for Reader's Digest

Brought to you by: Lustrecreme

Brought to you by: Lustrecreme
"Pink is for girls."

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Pete Campbell in:Dusk—The Magic Hour

Pete Campbell in:<br>Dusk—The Magic Hour
"I remember a day when I was very small, and my mother took me to a fair, and I got lost. After searching without finding her, I set out for home by myself. ... Afraid to knock on any door, I crept close to a tree in an empty corner lot and fell into the sleep of exhaustion."—Condensed from New Hampshire Profiles

Brought to you by: Boeing

Brought to you by: Boeing
"The only short-range jet with big-jet comfort."

Roger Sterling in:Cool Talk About Hot Drugs

Roger Sterling in:<br>Cool Talk About Hot Drugs
"Heroin is a problem of the high-school dropout. ... A small but growing number of people who take LSD repeatedly withdraw from society. ... The arguments for legalization of marijuana are based on pure hedonism."—Condensed from New York Times Magazine

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Brought to you by: Lilly

Brought to you by: Lilly
"We've been making medicines as if people's lives have been depending on them."

Bert Cooper in:The Man Who Refused to Die

Bert Cooper in:<br>The Man Who Refused to Die
"He worried that the unending silence would beguile him into some rash act."By Lawrence Elliott for Reader's Digest

Brought to you by: Quaker Oats

Brought to you by: Quaker Oats
"The Cholesterol Question: What to do while they're arguing about it."

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Joan Harris in:The Explosion that Changed the World

Joan Harris in:<br>The Explosion that Changed the World
"The explosion and its aftereffects were enough to change the course of history."—By Ronald Schiller for Reader's Digest

Brought to you by: Clairol

Brought to you by: Clairol
"Does she...or doesn't she?"

Peggy Olson in:Four Choices for Young People

Peggy Olson in:<br>Four Choices for Young People
"The world is an unfair and often a terrifying place. ... There are, I find, only four basic choices: 1. Drop out. 2. Flee. 3. Plot a revolution. 4. Try to change the world gradually, one clod at a time."—Condensed from Harper's Magazine

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Brought to you by: Kodak

Brought to you by: Kodak
"Some snapshots are too good to keep all to yourself."

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Some people like to travel by train because 
it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of 
an airplane.

Dennis Miller

I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”

Kevin Nealon

“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” 
—Everyone following you on Instagram

@kristencarney

A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.

Comedian Greg Davies

Funny Jokes

Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.

@sixthformpoet

Funny Jokes

Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.

From clientsfromhell.net

Funny Jokes

My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me 
everything you know.”

@NicCageMatch

Funny Jokes

“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” 
—Alcohol

@yoyoha (Josh Hara)

Funny Jokes

My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.

—Jerry Seinfeld

Funny Jokes

Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?

A: A mechanic.

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