Last week, the unthinkable happened: I found myself waiting in line to use a payphone. In my confusion, I lost a few coins, ran out of money and, ultimately, had the whole thing documented by The Wall Street Journal. The article points to my payphone befuddlement, stating: “The magazine editor had never really trained her Warby Parker eyeglasses on the contraptions.” To start, I must set the record straight: They’re Jean LaFont, not Warby Parker.
But seriously: I had never used a payphone before last week because I was never in need of one. After Hurricane Sandy, residents of downtown New York City learned the importance of the corded classic.
That said, if you’ve got cell service in the middle of a disaster, the payphone’s hot great-grandchild, the iPhone, is much, much more useful. Here, some apps that could save your life:
• Gas Buddy: If there’s a gas shortage in your area, tap this app for updates on station deliveries.
• Easy Battery Saver: Prolong your cell phone’s battery in case you need to use it for emergency calls.
• Flashlight: It’s the most basic emergency device, but flashlights really do save the day. This app will help you navigate dark alleys and survive the zombie apocalypse (or at least a power outtage).
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.