5 Questions to Ask About Your Marriage

Discuss these questions and answers with your spouse to be sure you are on the path to "happily ever after."

  from Reader's Digest | August 2009

Do you two have what it takes to endure? Professor and sexologist Pepper Schwartz, PhD, offers five ways to probe your feelings—and prove your love:


  • 1.

    Do you have trouble finding solutions to problems together?

    It’s not about persuading your spouse that you’re right. It’s whether the two of you can consistently find a comfortable middle ground.

  • 2.

    Is your spouse making most of the decisions?

    Your point of view needs a full and fair hearing before you both decide on an outcome.

  • 3.

    Does he or she withhold affection?

    It’s not just about sex—holding hands and hugging are essential. Do you share a smile or kiss at the end of the day?

  • 4.

    Is your mate defensive? Are you?

    Shoulder responsibility and suggest a do-over. That will make it easier to admit you were wrong.

  • 5.

    Is he or she inflexible?

    You don’t want your spouse to be stuck in a rut. The priorities you set 20 years ago may not apply if one of you loses a job or gets sick.

Bottom line: If you’ve answered affirmatively to most of these questions, it’s time to get to work. Discussing your answers might be a good place to start.

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