1. If I was 100 percent honest, I’d be telling a lot of couples, “I don’t think you two should be together.”
2. Just showing up every week is not enough. My number one pet peeve is the couple that comes to the session, then leaves and behaves the same way they always have.
3. Do you even hear how petty you guys are being? Does it really matter if the towel was straightened appropriately or not?
4. The earlier you come in, the quicker you can get the problem solved, the less your therapy will cost.
5. Don’t expect your spouse to be everything you need: your lover, your best friend, your massage therapist, your tennis partner and your confidant. You need other relationships outside your marriage to fill those roles.
6. The person who complains about things that happened in the past is usually more of the problem than the spouse they’re complaining about.
Sources: Jeff Palitz, a marriage and family therapist in Chula Vista, California; Susan Fletcher, PhD, a psychologist in Dallas; Tina B. Tessina, PhD, a psychotherapist in Long Beach, California; Nancy Mramor, PhD, in Pittsburgh; Karen Sherman, PhD, in New York; Lawrence J. Levy, PsyD, a licensedpsychologist in Boca Raton, Florida; Meghan L. Reitz, LCPC, NCC, in Schaumburg, Illinois; and a marriage counselor in Pennsylvania.