Waiters and waitresses across the country shared these secrets with us about what they serve to unwitting customers.
If you order plain old coffee at a restaurant after 8 p.m., you may be getting decaf. Most stop making two pots late in the day because no one wants to clean them both.
Even the best breakfast buffets in the world often serve scrambled eggs made from powder rather than fresh, and fish served on Sunday has often been languishing for a day or two.
Waitresses know better than to ask for lemon in their drinks. Everybody touches them, nobody washes them. We just peel the stickers off, cut them up, and throw them in your iced tea.
Plus: See More Waiters Secrets
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.