Oh yes: I had pumpkin pie for breakfast this morning—creamy, rich, pumpkin pie oatmeal, that is. And I’ll be eating this healthy-but-decadent concoction every morning this week. It’s perfect for Thanksgiving or the day after: substantial enough to keep you full until the main event, but light enough to make up for any post-turkey guilt.
Here’s the trick: Make four servings of oatmeal on the stove top, according to package directions (I like steel-cut oats, but old-fashioned work, too). When it’s almost cooked, stir in 1/2 can pumpkin puree, 2 tsp. pumpkin pie spice, and a dash of salt. Then you could swirl in maple syrup or brown sugar, but I have a better idea: top bowls of pumpkin pie oatmeal with leftover cake frosting (I used this carrot cake frosting) or whipped cream.
Of course, come Friday, I might just succumb to straight-up pumpkin pie for breakfast, but this oatmeal is tough competition.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.