Funny Baby Photos

After readers sent in their cute kids' pictures, we pulled out a few funny faces, then added famous baby quotes for extra laughs.

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Courtesy Denise Waldon
There is no finer investment for any community than putting milk into babies.
—Winston Churchill

Courtesy Erika Watts
Getting a burp out of your little thing is probably the greatest satisfaction I've come across. It's truly one of life's most satisfying moments.
—Brad Pitt

Courtesy Lisa Schneider
My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.
—Stephen Wright

Courtesy Edna Franco
Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.
—Mark Twain
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Courtesy Mike Cantrell
Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it.
—Marshall McLuhan

Courtesy Candace Breen
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.
—Barbara Kingsolver

Courtesy Edna Franco
It is the nature of babies to be in bliss.
—Deepak Chopra

Courtesy Cinthia
If you were to open up a baby's head—and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should—you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.
—Dave Barry
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Courtesy Janet
Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
—Fran Lebowitz

Courtesy Jessica Gray
Every child begins the world again.
—Henry David Thoreau

Quotes sources:

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Some people like to travel by train because 
it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of 
an airplane.

Dennis Miller

I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”

Kevin Nealon

“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” 
—Everyone following you on Instagram


A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.

Comedian Greg Davies

Funny Jokes

Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.


Funny Jokes

Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.


Funny Jokes

My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me 
everything you know.”


Funny Jokes

“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” 

@yoyoha (Josh Hara)

Funny Jokes

My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.

—Jerry Seinfeld

Funny Jokes

Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?

A: A mechanic.