I Will Carry 20 Grocery Bags So I Donât Have to Make a Second Trip
When I Was Your Age Pluto Was a Planet
People Who Always Have to Spell Their Names for Other People
I Am Fluent in Three Languages: English, Sarcasm, and Profanity
No, I Donât Care if I Die at 12 A.M., I Refuse to Pass On Your Chain Letter
Friends Donât Let Friends Wear Crocs
I Donât Care if the Spider Is Not Hurting Anyone, I Want It Dead!
I Secretly Want to Punch Slow-Walking People in the Back of the Head
An Arbitrary Number of People Demanding That Some Sort of Action Be Taken
Students Against Backpacks with Wheels
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.