We know, there are a million things you should be doing to get ready for Thanksgiving. And by you, I mean me. Yikes. And yet… I am (sort of) thankful that the web is full of goofy distractions.
Here are five worth a smile:
1. Uproxx’s slideshow of 40 animals who are more ready for Thanksgiving than you are. Cats as turkeys! Dogs in headdress! Pilgrim pugs! This is one of those things where you click all the way through in spite of yourself. Interestingly, none of the featured animals psyched up for Thanksgiving is an actual turkey.
2. and 3. Speaking of turkeys, you can find all manner of turkey trivia over at holidayinsights.com, including the assertion that the first presidential pardon of a gobbler was conferred in 1947. That would make Harry Truman the pardoner, though those facts are in dispute… so if you’re really interested, you can put off going to the grocery store by surfing over to Wikipedia check out everything you wanted to know about turkey pardoning.
4. This year’s turkeys will have barely cooled before zillions of us are on our way to the mall, hungry for bargains. Pinterest’s Black Friday Humor will put you in the right frame of mind.
5. Seriously, you’re already thinking about Christmas. So what the heck…is it too early to look on the Essential Kids site for recipes for gingerbread cats and dogs?
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.