6 Compelling Reasons Why Gary Busey Should Be the Next Pope

In focusing exclusively on established cardinals, Vatican judges have ignored the obvious frontrunner for the world's next Top Pope: prolific actor-turned-altruist Gary Busey.

Hear us out. According to the New York Times, Vatican talent scouts seek a pope with “charisma,” “grit,” and “magnetic charm”—and Gary Busey’s got the holy trinity in a way that pretty much locks down this whole papal race for us.

Non-believers, look no further than Twitter. Pope Benedict XVI became the first pontiff in history to transmit 140-character homilies to more than 1.2 million followers around the world. Busey preaches to a considerably smaller flock, but nonetheless utilizes his tweet feed to spread unfiltered messages of love, faith, and pancakes. Here’s why the guy has our vote.

1. He has perspective.

2. He is positive.

3. He is ambitious.

4. He is empathetic.

5. He is a master of religious rhetoric.

6. Above all else, He is penitent.

Follow future pontiff Gary Busey here.

Read Benedict XVI’s full twitter history here.

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9 thoughts on “6 Compelling Reasons Why Gary Busey Should Be the Next Pope

  1. Did not think why Gary Bussey should be Pope in good taste. Wold you do that to the Jewish leaders, Muslem leaders, blacks. That aside its not even funny.

  2. I think Gary is a hoot and a good actor. On the other hand name one religion that has proven the existeence of a real god, Religions (especially the catholic one) has terroizred and mind controlled people like sheep for eons now, God is inside you have to find him for yourselves and not be swayed by what other crazy ecocentric idiots try to make you believe. Whats sad is usually was our own parents that brainwashed us with their fear of death crap beliefs, Leave Gary alone at least he has a good heart and not alll is stuff is so bad G.O.D. good orderly direction, a little 12 stepish but not bad Gary.And he cracks me up.

  3. Craig, the Catholic church ever pulled the gun in your face? And pls don’t gimme that Dan Brown meth-fuelled bilge about some killer-sect in the Vatican. All I was saying, which you chose to be inattentive to, was that its easy to pick on the Catholic church in the name of humor cos they don’t threaten anyone…as against those who threaten & whom the western press live in cowardly fear of. You need me to explain anything further to you, Craig? So, its not a question of lightening up. Try saying lighten up to another faith who spray acid in little girls faces for going to school or cut off peoples feet for dancing.

  4. Lighten up, y’all! And yeah, PIrabee, the Catholic Church, which is the largest, richest, and most powerful religion in the world, is “weak and defensless”. Gimme a break!

  5. Bet this wouldn’t have been up if Catholics were good at strapping on bombs & snarling “I kill you” at people.
    And there you have it, the bully in the best of us: pick on the weak and the defenseless. Same philosophy as those who snarl “I kill you!”

  6. Making fun of something as serious as electing the new leader of the Catholic Church is not only not funny it is offensive.

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