8 Wacky “We The People” Petitions That Actually Got Signatures

We The People, whitehouse.gov's official online petition service, is America's new home for one-click democracy, where the Obama administration responds to everything from Postal Service reform (it's happening) to the construction of a Death Star (it's not). But hidden among the wistful are, of course, the weird. Here are the eight goofiest things you can demand of your government right now.

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Update Our National Anthem!

Update Our National Anthem!
What it's about: Swap one national treasure for another: R. Kelly's "Ignition (Remix)"
Why we need it: America deserves a song where Beyonce (or whomever) can belt out "Toot toot/ Beep Beep" at the World Series opener.
Signatures still needed: 88,526 by April 2nd
Add your voice? Sign here.

Open Jurassic National Park!

Open Jurassic National Park!
What it's about: A safe, tourist-friendly habitat for reanimated dinosaurs.
Why we need it: "Nothing could go wrong. No unforeseen consequences. Just educational fun for the Velociraptor, Tyrannosaurus Rex, and small tourist children."
Signatures still needed: 98,564 by April 7
Add your voice? Sign here.

End the Chocolate Embargo!

End the Chocolate Embargo!
What it's about: Allow the import/wholesale of Kinder Surprise Eggs in the United States
Why we need it: Because chocolate is delicious, toys are fun, and  I deserve  our children deserve it all.
Signatures still needed: 99,071 by April 8th
Add your voice? Sign here.

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Spring Ahead, Blah Blah!

Spring Ahead, Blah Blah!
What it's about: Abolish Daylight Savings time
Why we need it: "Think about the sleep-impaired driver coming towards you...Or the co-worker responsible for your safety, suffering from the brain fog that plagues so many..." Or, you know, the extra episode of Mad Men you could watch before bed.
Signatures still needed: 98,390 by April 1
Add your voice? Sign here. Or here. Or, uh, here.

Make America Macho Again!

Make America Macho Again!
What it's about: Immortalize "Macho Man" Randy Savage with a May 20th holiday.
Why we need it: "No matter if you knew him from Slim Jim commercials or his wrestling career, you felt a deep connection with Savage"—likely rivaled only by Hulk Hogan himself.
Signatures still needed: 95,406 by April 4th
Add your voice? Click here.

Make Every Neighborhood Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood!

Make Every Neighborhood Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood!
What it's about: Immortalize Fred McFeely "Mr." Rogers with a holiday on his birthday, March 20th
Why we need it: Hey, you voted for Randy Savage day, and that dude doesn't even wear cardigans. Priorities, people.
Signatures still needed: 95,974 by April 15th
Add your voice? Sign here.

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Let Us Puff In Peace!

Let Us Puff In Peace!
What it's about: "Tell the FDA to leave our premium cigars alone."
Why we need it: If these Presidents are any sign, this one's a no-brainer.
Signatures still needed: None! This petition already reached its 25,000-name goal.
Add your voice? Click here.

Tell Us the Truth!

Tell Us the Truth!
What it's about: Kind of speaks for itself.

(Note: this petition was deleted between the time we took the above screenshot and published this article. Score: Justice: 1, Wacky America: 0.)

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