I’m no political wonk, but I’ve been following the election coverage pretty closely. I cringed at Mitt Romney’s “binders of women” comment and jealously examined his tax returns. I chuckled at President Obama’s bear hug and pored over the minutiae of Obamacare. But by the time early November rolls around, I admit it: I’m ready for election 2012 to be a thing of the past.
Apparently I’m not the only one. Four-year-old Abigael Evans of Fort Collins, Colorado, can’t contain her frustration as election season drags on. After listening to a radio news story with her mother, she burst into tears. “I’m tired of ‘Bronco Bamma’ and Mitt Romney,” she sobbed. I’ll second that emotion, Abbie. Check out the video below.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.