Alabama: No stink bombs or confettiEmma Kapotes/Rd.com
If you're a stodgy school principal from a 1980s film, consider moving to Mobile, Alabama: Stink bombs, "funk balls," and any object "the purpose of which is to create disagreeable odors" are strictly illegal there. Also illegal: “spray string,” confetti, and bathing in public fountains. (Think you're innocent? You're probably breaking one of these real marriage laws right now.)
Alaska: No getting drunk in a barEmma Kapotes/Rd.com
In Alaska it is illegal to be drunk… in a bar. Per state laws, a person who is already drunk may not “knowingly” enter a bar to drink more, or remain in the bar that got them drunk in the first place. Confusing and cruel? Yes. Outdated? Sadly, no—police actually enforce it. (Think that's a waste of time? Just listen to these real, idiotic 911 calls.)
Arizona: No spitting in publicEmma Kapotes/Rd.com
In the town of Goodyear, Arizona, it is unlawful to spit “in or on” any public building, park, sidewalk, or road. Offenders may be charged a fine of up to $2,500 and six months in prison. (And in case you need a reminder, it's also just lousy etiquette.)
Arkansas: Must pronounce state name correctlyEmma Kapotes/Rd.com
Visitors beware: it is strictly prohibited to pronounce “Arkansas” incorrectly. Per the state Code, the only acceptable pronunciation is “in three (3) syllables, with the final 's' silent, the 'a' in each syllable with the Italian sound, and the accent on the first and last syllables.” So keep your Arkan-sass to yourself—and while you're at it, make sure you're pronouncing these common food words correctly.
California: No nuclear weapons, obviouslyEmma Kapotes/Rd.com
It is illegal to build, maintain, or use a nuclear weapon within Chico, California city limits. A law that began in the ‘80s as a serious anti-nuke statement has taken on a second life as an Internet joke, mainly due to the purported consequences: In addition to self-annihilation, the infraction also carries a $500 fine.
Colorado: No catapultingEmma Kapotes/Rd.com
Sure, you may be allowed to own a catapult in Aspen—but you better not try discharging it, buddy. Flaming arrows, alas, are also off limits.
Connecticut: Pickles must bounceEmma Kapotes/Rd.com
A pickle cannot be sold unless it bounces. According to a 1948 article, this law became a necessity after two scheming pickle packers tried to sell pickles “unfit for human consumption” on the sly. Connecticut’s Food and Drug Commissioner at the time proclaimed that a real pickle “should bounce” when dropped from the height of one foot, leading to a new state regulation.
Delaware: Strict trick-or-treating times enforcedEmma Kapotes/Rd.com
To prevent “mischief of any sort,” children in the City of Rehoboth Beach may only go trick-or-treating between the hours of 6pm and 8pm on Halloween—UNLESS Halloween falls on a Sunday; in that case, “such going door to door and house to house for treats shall take place on the evening of October 30” instead.
Florida: No selling childrenEmma Kapotes/Rd.com
Georgia: Can't eat fried chicken with utensilsEmma Kapotes/Rd.com
For chicken chompers in Gainesville, Georgia, “finger-lickin’” is not a suggestion—it is mandatory. Thanks to a 1961 law added to the city code as a publicity stunt, it is illegal to eat fried chicken in “the poultry capital of the world” with anything other than your fingers. A tourist was “arrested” for such a chicken-forking violation in 2009.