5 Freaky, Once-in-a-Lifetime Double-Holidays

The only Thanksgivukkah of our lifetimes occurred on November 28, 2013, but there's no need to kvetch! Here are four more amazing hybrid holidays you can start planning for now.

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Eastover

Eastover
Combines: Easter Sunday and the Passover Seder into a single, unleavened spring fling.

Happens on:
Sunday, April 11, 2123. While Easter Sunday falls within the week-long celebration of Passover most years (including 2014), April 11, 2123 is the next time the two holidays begin at exactly the same time.

Celebrate by:
Hiding Easter eggs around the lawn and afikoman around the house. Getting matzoh from the Easter Bunny. Debating who would win in the ultimate miracle match-up: Jesus or Moses?

Thanksgivukkah

Thanksgivukkah
Combines: Thanksgiving day and the first night of Hanukkah—two freedom-tastic feasts in one!

Happens on:
Thursday, November 28, 2013 (the first Thanksgivukkah since 1888, and the last one for about 79,000 years).

Celebrate by:
Lighting some candles on your Menurkey (designed by nine-year-old Asher Weintraub, after a Kickstarter campaign raised over $48,000 for him to create it). Fressing out on a Manishewitz-brined turkey with challah apple stuffing (enjoy leftovers for eight miraculous days). Not eating pork...for TWO reasons!

Chrismukkah

Chrismukkah
Combines: Christmas Eve and the first night of Hanukkah for an inter-faith evening of presents. Ah, the Challahdays!

Happens on:
Saturday, December 24, 2016 (though Christmas and Hanukkah often overlap, and may be bundled anyway by savvy advertisers).

Celebrate by:
Trying to fit in your Chrismukkah caroling before sundown. Explaining to your boss that the 12 days of Christmas + the 8 days of Hanukkah entitle you to 20 days off this month (sue for religious discrimination if she does not oblige). Eating honey-baked gefilte fish.

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Good Friday the 13th

Good Friday the 13th
Combines: the religious thoughtfulness of Good Friday with the superstitious dread of Friday the 13th.

Happens on:
April 13, 2063.

Celebrate by:
Going to church without stepping on any cracks, walking under ladders, or crossing any black cats. Buying $800 million in Easter chocolates to counter the $800 million dollars in business lost every Friday the 13th. Finally selling your religious-horror screenplay, "The Last Temptation of Jason."

The Groundhog Bowl

The Groundhog Bowl
Combines: Super Bowl XLVIII and Groundhog day 2014 into one miraculously lucky/unlucky Sunday!

Happens on:
Sunday, February 2nd, 2014.

Celebrate by:
Kicking off your Super Bowl party at 7:25 a.m. with a side bet on whether Punxsutawney Phil will see his shadow. Preparing a themed spread of assorted nuts, berries, and wild grasses. Ultimately blaming the victory (or defeat) of your team on whether there'll be six more weeks of winter.

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4 thoughts on “5 Freaky, Once-in-a-Lifetime Double-Holidays

  1. These are some of the dumbest & stupid jokes & sayings I’ve ever read; esp. air line attends.

  2. Easter and Passover together is no coincidence. To me the interesting time is when Wed is the first night of Passover. The Last Supper, the night before the crucifixion, was a Passover seder. In those days Jews sacrificed lambs at Passover (per Exodus). Jesus called himself the “Lamb of God” to be sacrificed for the world. Easter week IS Passover to the church, which was originally all Jewish. Tradition has Jesus die on Friday, but that’s a misreading-you can’t fit in “three days & three nights in the tomb” (as all the Gospels & other sources say) if the crucifixion was on Friday. In the Gospel of John at least, it is clear that it was Thurs, which make sense. Jewish and Christian lunar calendars got out of sync in the centuries since.

  3. This is some of the dumbest garbage that RD has ever come up with. Fire your editors and go to a high school and hire their school paper editors, you’ll get better quality work!!!

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