These Hilarious First Kiss Stories Will Make You So Glad You’re Not a Teenager

Get ready to reminisce about that deliciously awkward moment when your lips first touched someone else's.

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First base panic

“We went under the bleachers at a popular park in Florida. I was in the seventh grade, circa 1987. I had no idea how to compose myself. I didn’t know I was supposed to close my eyes and I was insecure that my nose, pre-rhinoplasty, would get in the way (think Steve Martin’s character in Roxanne). I just opened my mouth, kept my eyes wide open and twirled my tongue around twice. I still remember the guy’s first and last name.” —Much Better Kisser Now, Coral Springs, Florida

Holy hotness

“I met this cute boy in Hebrew school, and we went to see Bette Midler in Beaches. He did the arm-over-the-shoulder trick with a dramatic yawn and stretch. He leaned in for a very awkward, uncomfortable tongue touch. I sat in shock and guilt for the rest of the film. When my mom picked me up, I asked if we could stop at temple to throw away my sins.” —Kiss and Pray, Branchburg, New Jersey (No need to feel guilty, Kiss and Pray! Kissing actually makes you stronger!)

Double trouble

“I was a late bloomer—age 14, to be exact. When I excitedly went to share the news of my first kiss with my twin sister the next day, I found out he was her first kiss, too.” —Still Mad at My Sister, Baldwin, NY

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Breath test

“My sixth-grade boyfriend and I had a date at the local pizza place. We shared our first real peck in the back of the restaurant. I remember that I did not like his breath.” —Never Ordered Pepperoni Again, Potomac, Maryland

Miss inexperienced

“I was 8 years old, and I fell in love with a fifth grader on my camp bus. I remember his tan legs looking so cute in his short shorts. We kissed on a dare. My excitement turned into nausea. When the bus dropped me off I ran home to my mom crying, I thought I was pregnant.” —In Therapy, Marlboro, New Jersey

Forgotten love

“I can’t remember which one came first. It might have been at sleep away camp behind the arts and crafts building. Or it was during a game of Truth or Dare in my parent’s hot tub, or maybe it was in the backyard at my best friend’s house.” —Still thinking, Boca Raton, FL

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Lip bump

“We both had braces. Not sure what hit first, the metal brackets or the tip of our tongues.” —Happily Married, Manalapan, New Jersey (Read more about the benefits of kissing, besides leading to happy-ever-afters.)

Dressed to impress

“My mom was a friend of the owner of a dress store. She would always give me a crinoline to put under my skirt. It must have made me look nice because at age 13, I kissed the dress owner’s son. I’ll never forget: It was outside, on the corner of a busy street, underneath the train tracks.” —Still Have My Memory, Jackson, New Jersey

Sweet and tender

“It was 50 years ago. He would always pick me up in his car with Lifesavers on the dashboard and lip balm in hand. He made sure to keep his lips soft and his breath fresh. My friends didn’t know if I could trust him because they said he was too nice. Now, we are married and he still walks around with chapstick and breath mints in his dungaree jacket.” —Married To Mr. Right, Brooklyn, New York

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