Funny Last Words of 13 Notable People

"Did you hear the one about the guy who died mid-sen "

View as Slideshow

Bob Hope

rd.com/Reader's Digest Editors

"Surprise me."

Marie Antoinette

"Pardon me, sir. I did not do it on purpose."

Oscar Wilde

"It would really be more than the English could stand if another century began and I were still alive."

Content continues below ad

Archimedes

"Don't disturb my circles!"

Peter The Great

"Give back everything to..."

Ian Fleming

"I am sorry to trouble you chaps. I don't know how you get along so fast with the traffic on the roads these days."

Content continues below ad

Del Close

"Thank God. I'm tired of being the funniest person in the room."

Nostradamus

"You will not see me alive at sunrise."

Voltaire

"The flames already?"

Content continues below ad

Pope Alexander VI

"Okay, okay, I'll come. Just give it a moment."

Dominique Bouhours

"I am about to—or am going to—die: either expression is correct."

W.C. Fields

"I'm looking for loopholes."

Content continues below ad

Henrik Ibsen

"On the contrary."


Become more interesting every week!

Get our Read Up newsletter

how we use your e-mail
We will use your email address to send you this newsletter. For more information please read our privacy policy.

Funny Jokes
Some people like to travel by train because 
it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of 
an airplane. Dennis Miller
Funny Jokes
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.” Kevin Nealon
Funny Jokes
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” 
—Everyone following you on Instagram @kristencarney
Funny Jokes
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water. Comedian Greg Davies
Funny Jokes
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous. @sixthformpoet
Funny Jokes
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral. From clientsfromhell.net
Funny Jokes
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me 
everything you know.” @NicCageMatch
Funny Jokes
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” 
—Alcohol @yoyoha (Josh Hara)
Funny Jokes
My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that's the law. —Jerry Seinfeld
Funny Jokes
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth? A: A mechanic.