Monopoly for Millennials

In a new version of Monopoly designed for millennials, players will buy and sell "brands" instead of real estate. What other modern tweaks might the next generation of Monopolizers expect to see?

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By chance, you go out of state for school.

By chance, you go out of state for school.Brandon Specktor
Well, you only live once.

By chance, your video goes viral.

By chance, your video goes viral.Brandon Specktor
YouTube gets most of the money.

By chance, you get your dream job after college.

By chance, you get your dream job after college.Brandon Specktor
But you still have to sling coffee elsewhere to "make it."

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By chance, you get to do some self-exploration.

By chance, you get to do some self-exploration.Brandon Specktor
But oceanside therapy, while priceless, ain't cheap.

By chance, you get funded.

By chance, you get funded.Brandon Specktor
With funny money!

By chance, you catch Google's eye.

By chance, you catch Google's eye.Brandon Specktor
And lose everyone else's.

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By chance, the Biebs gives a shout out.

By chance, the Biebs gives a shout out.Brandon Specktor
Collect 1.5 million new followers.

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Some people like to travel by train because 
it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of 
an airplane.

Dennis Miller

I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”

Kevin Nealon

“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” 
—Everyone following you on Instagram

@kristencarney

A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.

Comedian Greg Davies

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Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.

@sixthformpoet

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Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.

From clientsfromhell.net

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My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me 
everything you know.”

@NicCageMatch

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“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” 
—Alcohol

@yoyoha (Josh Hara)

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My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.

—Jerry Seinfeld

Funny Jokes

Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?

A: A mechanic.

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