Funny Political Quotes and Insults From Around the World

America is a great country, but as far as put-downs go, we can learn a thing or two from our friends abroad who have made slamming their opponents a form of high art.

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"The honorable Member is living proof that a pig's bladder on a stick can be elected to Parliament."
—Labor Member of Parliament Tony Banks on Tory MP Terry Dicks

“He’s like a shiver waiting for a spine.”
— Paul Keating, Former Australian Prime Minister

“[He clings] to data the way a drunkard clings to lampposts.”
—Former Italian Prime Minister Romani referring to his successor, Silvio Berlusconi

"I don't want to be rude but, really, you have the charisma of a damp rag and the appearance of a low-grade bank clerk."
—Nigel Farage on European President Herman Van Rompuy

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“She probably thinks Sinai is the plural of sinus.”
—Jonathan Aitken, a former Conservative Member of Parliament, on Margaret Thatcher

"The house has noticed the prime minister's remarkable transformation in the last few weeks from Stalin to Mr Bean.”
—British Liberal Democrat Vincent Cable on Tory British Prime Minister Gordon Brown

“The right honorable and learned gentleman has twice crossed the floor of this House, each time leaving behind a trail of slime.”
—Former English Prime Minister Lloyd George

“He occasionally stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened.”
—Winston Churchill

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Some people like to travel by train because 
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an airplane.

Dennis Miller

I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”

Kevin Nealon

“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” 
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A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.

Comedian Greg Davies

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My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me 
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“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” 

@yoyoha (Josh Hara)

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My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.

—Jerry Seinfeld

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Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?

A: A mechanic.