As the NFL season gets underway, millions of deluded fans struggle once again to convince themselves that their favorite team is better than it really is and that this season, finally, everything is going to be different. Fat chance.
Every team has its flaws, some have too many to count, and others (sorry, Bills fans) are burdened by historic baggage they may never escape. Over at Grantland, writer Justin Halpern and graphic designer Brian Huntington have created “honest logos” for all 32 NFL teams that capture their essence. From the “Depressing” Bills to the “Pure Evil” Patriots to the “Irrelevant” Jaguars, no franchise eludes their witty needle.
The graphics are gorgeous, some of the language is for grownups, and the truth, of course, is painful. Check it out and see what they think of your team.
(Image courtesy of Grantland.)
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.