If Star Wars: Episode VII Was Directed by Martin Scorsese, Lena Dunham and Other Famous Filmmakers

It might look something like this.

By Brandon Specktor

Walt Disney Pictures aims to release one new Star Wars film every summer for at least six years, beginning with Episode VII in 2015. This is good news. JJ Abrams, creator of the TV show Lost and rebooter of the current Star Trek film franchise, has agreed to direct the upcoming Star Wars sequel. But with Disney proposing a film-a-year rollout, maybe they can “force” some of our favorite filmmakers to get in on the action.

1. Star Wars: Boba Unmasked
Directed by: Quentin Tarantino

Plot: His father was murdered by Jedi. He was humiliated and left for dead in the deepest, darkest hole on Tatooine. Now he’s back—and Boba Fett, the deadliest bounty hunter in the galaxy, won’t rest until Luke Skywalker and Han Solo get what they deserve. Samuel L. Jackson returns to the Star Wars saga in the role he was born to play: the mean Mandalorian m****r f****r, Boba Unmasked.

Poster Art:

If Star Wars Episode VII was directed by Quentin Tarantino

2. Star Wars: Return of the Graduate (to Her Childhood Bedroom)
Directed by: Lena Dunham

Plot: Hannah Solo is a half-Jedi who just wants to feel it all. Born to Han and Leia twentysomething years after the fall of the Galactic Empire, Hannah and her listless peers cruise the skyways of Coruscant, each waging a personal war to find love…and purpose. (Featuring Jemima Kirke as Jemima Binks.)

Pivotal Scene:

If Lena Dunham was the Star Wars Episode VII director
3. Star Wars: A Schlub’s Awakening
Directed by: Woody Allen

In his long-anticipated follow-up to the sci-fi spoof Sleeper, Woody Allen embodies a neurotic Jedi robe tailor who finds himself frozen in carbonite after being glib with the wrong Sith general. He awakens 200 years later, after the fall of the Empire, where he must learn to adjust to an increasingly Jedi-free world. Will the Force—and quirky cantina girl Scarlett Johansson—be with him? Find out June 2017.

Poster Art:

If Woody Allen was the Star Wars Episode VII director

Next: Michael Moore, Martin Scorsese, and Judd Apatow visit the galaxy far, far, away

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