If Star Wars: Episode VII Was Directed by Martin Scorsese, Lena Dunham and Other Famous Filmmakers

It might look something like this.

By Brandon Specktor

4. Star Wars: Planet of Traitors (or, The InSidious Truth About Alderaan)
Directed by: Michael Moore

Controversial documentarian Michael Moore returns to cinema with a gripping, grass-roots investigation into the destruction of Planet Alderaan, paying particular attention to Princess Leia Organa’s incidental rise to galactic power following the annihilation of her people. Also: did the employees of the second Death Star have health insurance? And of course, should Ewoks be sold for pets or meat?

Press Photo:

If Michael Moore was the Star Wars Episode VII director

5. Star Wars: Goo Fellas
Directed by: Martin Scorsese

Gelatinous mobster Blobby the Hutt (Robert DeNiro) is the most ruthless crime lord in the galaxy, and one streetwise young Twi’lek (Leonardo DiCaprio) has the big man’s ear. Will Leo remain loyal, even when an assault of bounty hunters, Imperial peacekeepers, and a few nosy Jedi knights try to bring Blobby down for good? Find out in the 2015 mob odyssey critics are already hailing as “better than The Blobfather.”

Pivotal Scene:

If Martin Scorsese was the Star Wars Episode VII director

6. Star Wars: The 900 Year-Old Virgin
Directed by: Judd Apatow

Master Yoda was one of the last surviving Jedi, and one of the single most powerful creatures in the galaxy. But there’s one thing his infinite wisdom and skill couldn’t get him: a girlfriend. This is the story of all those weekend trips to Dagobah you didn’t hear about: the trips where Student became Master, and Luke Skywalker tried his damnedest to get old Yoda some sweet swamp lovin’. (Featuring Megan Fox as the Illusion of Attainable Lovers in the Cave of Evil.)

Poster Art:

If Judd Apatow was the Star Wars Episode VII director

Which directors should we ask next?

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