10 Surprisingly Inspirational Quotes From Top Comedians

Laugh all you want, but these funny people are actually wise guys.

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Take Big Chances

Take Big ChancesKevin Winter/Getty Images
"The great thing about taking big chances when you're younger is you have less to lose, and you don't know as much. So you take big swings."—Amy Poehler

Show People Your Brain

Show People Your BrainChristopher Polk/Getty Images
"Life is like one big Mardi Gras. But instead of showing your boobs, show people your brain, and if they like what they see, you'll have more beads than you know what to do with."—Ellen DeGeneres

Use Your Madness

Use Your MadnessMichael Caulfield/Getty Images
"You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it."—Robin Williams

Be So Good

Be So GoodFrazer Harrison/Getty Images
"Be so good they can't ignore you."—Steve Martin

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Go Down the Chute

Go Down the ChuteKevin Winter/Getty Images
"You can't be that kid standing at the top of the water slide overthinking it. You have to go down the chute."—Tina Fey

Work Hard and Be Kind

Work Hard and Be KindSteve Jennings/Getty Images
"Work hard, be kind, and amazing things will happen."—Conan O'Brien

Reach for Success

Reach for SuccessJemal Countess/Getty Images
"In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure."—Bill Cosby

Everyone Should Create

Everyone Should CreateJo Hale/Getty Images
"You should bring something into the world that wasn't in the world before. It doesn't matter what that is. It doesn't matter if it's a table or a film or gardening—everyone should create. You should do something, then sit back and say 'I did that.'"—Ricky Gervais

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Desperation Is Interesting

Desperation Is InterestingToby Canham/Getty Images
"Desperation is a necessary ingredient to learning anything, or creating anything. Period. If you ain't desperate at some point, you ain't interesting."—Jim Carrey

Always Look Forward

Always Look ForwardFrank Micelotta/Getty Images
"Look to the future, because that is where you'll spend the rest of your life."—George Burns

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Some people like to travel by train because 
it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of 
an airplane.

Dennis Miller

I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”

Kevin Nealon

“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” 
—Everyone following you on Instagram


A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.

Comedian Greg Davies

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Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.


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Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.

From clientsfromhell.net

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My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me 
everything you know.”


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“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” 

@yoyoha (Josh Hara)

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My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.

—Jerry Seinfeld

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Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?

A: A mechanic.