A South African man was sailing from East London, South Africa, to Madagascar when his yacht ran aground and was severely damaged. He scooped up his beloved nine-year-old Jack Russell terrier and swam ashore to safety. Only when he was assured that his dog would be all right did he swim back to the yacht to save his other traveling companion—his wife. Source: news24.com
At the conclusion of the divorce proceedings, a Serbian judge ordered a man to share all his property equally with his soon to be ex-wife, including his dearly loved farm equipment. Following the judgment to the letter, the man purchased a grinder and cut all his tools and machinery in half. Source: Reuters
After learning that her husband was cheating on her, a British woman decided to end the relationship. She let her husband know by convincing the owner of their favorite pub to temporarily change its name to “Paul I Am Divorcing You.” Source: mirror.co.uk
A Michigan man clearly has not sorted out his anger toward his ex-wife. He bought the house next to hers and erected a giant statue of a clenched fist with one finger extended so that it faced her home. Which finger? Here’s a hint: It’s not the thumb, index finger, ring finger, or pinkie. Source: dailymail.co.uk
A husband in Kenya told his wife that he needed to travel to his home village to visit family, but he instead rented a hotel room with his mistress. That evening, he stepped out into the hallway to call his wife. At that moment, the door to the neighboring room opened, and his wife walked out to answer his call. No, it wasn’t a trap—inside her room was the man she’d been having an affair with. Source: standardmedia.co.ke
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.