A few months ago, I was struck by a photo I spotted on a news site. A teenage boy was standing at a busy intersection of some city wearing a sign written in his own hand, I presume, stating that he is a serial class cutter and that he will never, ever, “EVER!” do it again.
The story goes that the boy’s father was fed up with his little dollop of joy and decided on this form of punishment as a last resort. Since then, there has been a rash of parents publicly shaming their delinquent children by making them wear signs admitting to their misdeeds and vowing not to be repeat offenders. I’m thinking of tying the TV remote around my daughter, along with a sign that reads: “I will not watch Disney when there is a Giants game on.”
Publicly humiliating one’s child has become so popular that even dog owners, best friends to those perennial bad-boys of the animal kingdom, have picked up on the tactic. Check out dog-shaming.com. It’s filled with repentant pooches staring soulfully into the camera while swearing off a life as a canine ne’er-do-well.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.