10 Short Jokes Anyone Can Remember

For when you need the laughs to come fast

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What's the best thing about Switzerland?

Charles C. Foster, Flickr Commons

I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.

I invented a new word!

State Library and Archives of Florida, Flickr Commons


Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?

National Library of Wales, Flickr Commons

He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.

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Why do we tell actors to "break a leg?"

Powerhouse Museum, Flickr Commons

Because every play has a cast. Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards? He was just going through a stage.

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.

LSE Library, Flickr Commons

"Get out of here!" shouts the bartender. "We don't serve your type."

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road. I asked him, "What's the word on the street?"

State Library and Archives of Florida, Flickr Commons

Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving little messages around the house.

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Knock! Knock!

State Library and Archives of Florida, Flickr Commons

Who's there? Control Freak. Con... Okay, now you say, "Control Freak who?"

Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?

SDASM archives, Flickr Commons

There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.

A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"

Library of Congress, Flickr Commons

"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."

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A bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a whiskey and ... cola."

Robert E. Fisher, Flickr Commons

"Why the big pause?" asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. "I'm not sure; I was born with them."

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My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me 
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Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?

A: A mechanic.