Some guy was on his cell leaving a voicemail for his boss when he noticed a traffic accident. The following is his hysterical play-by-play of the confrontation between an irate young guy and the equally angry elderly women whose car he bashed into. What makes it so funny is his I-can’t-catch-my-breath-because-I’m-laughing-so-hard depiction of what happened next.
The video’s a bit old, but it’s good enough that I shared it recently with a friend who was recuperating from a broken leg. He insists it’s a fake. He thinks it never happened and that the guy is making it up. I’m not so sure. I think my friend’s just cranky, what with having to stay home with nothing else to do but rain on my parade and watch General Hospital. But if he is right, the guy’s a brilliant actor, worthy of a listen. Enjoy.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.