Yasu+JunkoI don’t mean to complain, but … OK, actually, I do. And I’m not alone. We all do it. And our gripes can get so ugly that we describe the very act as “venting one’s spleen.” Such is the world today that we will whine about anything (“Ugh … Why does global warming always happen to me?!”). Just like every other creature that roams the earth (“Why does Earth have to be so muddy?!”), whiners come in different shapes, sizes, and attitudes. See if you recognize yourself in any of the following descriptions..
Impossible to Please
A man who robbed a Wendy’s in Atlanta was so put off by his skimpy haul that he called the restaurant twice to voice his disapproval. That’s better than what police say Arthur Bundrage did. Bundrage approached a Syracuse, New York, bank teller and demanded $20,000. When he got home, he discovered he’d been shortchanged. Outraged, he stormed back to the bank to tell them what he thought of their service. That’s when he was arrested.
—Source: Associated Press
For all the money spent on vacations, is it too much to expect perfection? These travelers didn’t think so. Here’s a taste of what they told their travel agents:
- “On my holiday to India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food at all.”
- A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained that his soup was too thick. He was inadvertently slurping gravy.
- Following a trip to a national theme park, one angry woman complained that the sun was so hot it melted her ice cream.
- An air traveler voiced her disapproval of all the clouds in the sky, saying they ruined her children’s game of Eye Spy.
—Source: Toronto Star, telegraph.co.uk
An unimpressed guest sent this missive to a British hotel regarding its decor:
“The ’70s style really is making a comeback, isn’t it? The fact that yours is actually original gives the place that touch of authenticity … The lighting was also very good—and bright. No point in having a great interior if it’s too dark to see it, and you never know when you might have to indulge in a bit of complex cardiothoracic surgery, so it’s better to be safe than sorry, I say.”
Next: Richard Branson gets slammed with a zero-star review
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.