I had just about gotten used to the term “doggie day care” as a euphemism for “kennel” when I read in the New York Post about a full-service hotel for canines that’s set to open in fashionable Chelsea.
No crates and kibble here: At the D Pet Hotel, your pooch can enjoy a full-sized bed, flat-screen TV, “gourmet meals” prepared by a private chef, and a private fitness trainer at the spa. Seriously? I’m planning to cancel my vacation next year and check in—as my dog’s service animal.
(Photo © iStockphoto/Thinkstock)
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.