25 Corny Jokes Everyone Will Laugh at to Celebrate National Tell a Joke Day

No kidding: You're going to love this cheesy collection of puns and one-liners—they're ideal for celebrating National Tell a Joke Day on August 16.

Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.comA ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer, bartender says "sorry, we don't serve food here." Belly up to some more bar jokes, here.
Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.comWhy did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse.
Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.comWhat do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh.

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Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.comWhat do you call an alligator detective? An investi-gator. (Did you know avocados are known as "alligator pears"?)
Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.comWhy did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.comThere are two muffins baking in the oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?" The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!" (Here are seven mini meals you can make in a muffin tin.)

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Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.comWhat lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.comWhy shouldn't you write with a broken pencil? Because it's pointless.
Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.comWhat's the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu? One requires tweetment and the other an oinkment.

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Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.comWant corny jokes from celebrities? Here you go. If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get? Mistle-toes.
Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.comAfter a crime, a detective noted that he thought it was foul play. The other detective said, "You mean, he was playing with birds?"
Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.comWhat's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.comWhat did the policeman say to his bellybutton? You're under a vest. (Here are 45 things police officers want you to know.)
Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.comWhy do people say "break a leg" when you go on stage? Because every play has a cast. Can't get enough of light bulb jokes? Try these 17.
Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.comWhat do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.

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Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.comWhat kind of ghost has the best hearing? The eeriest. (You'll be thoroughly spooked by these real ghost stories.)
Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.comWhy are there gates around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in.
Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.comWhy do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.

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Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.comWhen do computers overheat? When they need to vent.
Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.comWhat kind of music do planets like? Neptunes.
Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.comWhere can you buy chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

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Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.comWhy do bees have sticky hair? Because they use honeycombs.
Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.comHow do rabbits travel? By hareplanes.
Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.comHow do you tell if a vampire is sick? By how much he is coffin.

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Tatiana Ayazo/Rd.comWhat do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef! If your funnybone still needs tickling, here are the top jokes from comedy legends.
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