How to Rock a Weird Beard and Other Funny Facial Hair Styles

Photographer Greg Anderson captured this first-rate facial fur at the 2013 National Beard and Mustache Championships—but we have some ideas for putting the beardy beauties to work after the show.

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The Warlord

The WarlordGreg Anderson
Perfect for:
• Crashing grizzly bear luncheons
• Preventing tacky Viking-helmet-hair
• Pillaging Middle Earth

The Rogue's Smile

The Rogue's SmileGreg Anderson
Perfect for:
• Banana storage
• Manual head-steering
• High fiving other mustaches

The Dreamcatcher

The DreamcatcherGreg Anderson
Perfect for:
• Teaching trigonometry
• Skewering olives
• Completing your Beatnik Santa costume

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The Sly Cap'n

The Sly Cap'nGreg Anderson
Perfect for:
• October accessorizing
• Maniacal twirling
• Piloting your whimsical airship

The Scorpion

The ScorpionGreg Anderson
Perfect for:
• Tickling metal-heads
• Practicing sailor's knots
• Giving the beard a stern talking to

The Angel's Shoestrings

The Angel's Shoestrings Greg Anderson
Perfect for:
• Decorative spider webs
• Pretending to uncork things
• Pirate golf

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The Madman Yak

The Madman YakGreg Anderson
Perfect for:
• Competitive head-banging
• Becoming one with the willows
• Avoiding open flames for the rest of your life

Lucifer's Coathook

Lucifer's Coathook Greg Anderson
Perfect for:
• Cleaning your ears
• Cleaning your neighbor's ears
• Nonchalantly riding a unicycle

Cheek Chaps

Cheek ChapsGreg Anderson
Perfect for:
• Raising a flea circus
• Pretending your chin is Wolverine
• Backup prayer shawl

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The Artisan

The ArtisanGreg Anderson
Perfect for:
• Brooklyn entrepreneurship
• High-stakes darts
• Seducing octopi

The Lucky Charmer

The Lucky CharmerGreg Anderson
Perfect for:
• The Civil War re-enactor's Leprechaun Cavalry brigade
• Tickling just her upper lip
• Convincing children you possess treasure


HossGreg Anderson
Perfect for:
• Smuggling starfish
• Being the most popular sheriff in town
• Single-handedly keeping the beard-wax industry afloat

See the rest of Anderson's epic photo album on Facebook.

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3 thoughts on “How to Rock a Weird Beard and Other Funny Facial Hair Styles

  1. How can Seanol be “the only FDA-approved Ecklonia Cava marine-algae extract in existence” when clearly at the bottom of the article it says “The statements and claims made about this product have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration (U.S.). ” And how can it be used to actually treat a disease when at the end of the article it says “This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent disease”. Clearly someone is trying to scam the public. People will probably buy it anyway in a desperate attempt to look and feel better instead of doing it the old fashioned way of excersize and a change in how we eat. So sad.

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