Think you’ve tried all the diets out there? Think again. While we don’t advocate using these diets for weight loss, they are good for a laugh.
1. Sleeping Beauty Diet If you aren’t awake, you can’t eat, right? Advocates sedate themselves and sleep for days.
2. The Tapeworm Diet Take one orally or travel to a part of the world where beef tapeworms are endemic and infect yourself that way.
3. The Cotton Ball Diet Begin each meal with an appetizer of cotton balls. The balls will fill you up so that you won’t want to eat as much.
4. The Baby Food Diet Babies weigh next to nothing, so it makes sense to duplicate their diet, right? In this case, replace your meals with puréed peas, fruit, carrots, chicken, whatever. Just make sure it comes in those little jars.
5. Fletcherizing Horace “The Great Masticator” Fletcher preached chewing each mouthful exactly 32 times until the food was “purified” and then spitting out what remained. This way, you get the nutrients with fewer calories.
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.