Whatever the reason for the queasy feeling in the pit of your stomach, there’s an app to soothe it. All are for iPhones:
HarvestMark Food Traceability
“LoJack for your veggies,” Sunset magazine called the HarvestMark icon, which lets you trace an apple or asparagus stalk back to the farm (assuming a farmer has signed up). With this free app, you can do the detective work while standing in the supermarket aisle. It’s what you need if you’re looking for locally grown food — and it’ll tell you if your arugula has been recalled.
For all those times you thaw meat for dinner and then develop a yen for Chinese takeout, this $1.99 app pulls together info from the FDA, USDA, and CDC to tell you whether you can refreeze the beef or if that would be asking for trouble. (It also helps you store food for maximum flavor — tomatoes on the counter until they’re cut, strawberries in the fridge — and more.)
Sure, it’s fun to feed your dog peanut butter just to see how long it takes him to get it off his teeth. But giving him chocolate is dangerous. With this 99-cent app, you can check dozens of foods to find out what (and how much) is safe for your pooch.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.