Eat Healthy Anywhere You Go This Summer

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On the beach

On the beach
You’d be hard-pressed to find a healthy nibble at a beachside snack shop. Instead, pack a cooler filled with pre-made sandwiches on whole wheat bread, refreshing summertime fruits like grapes and watermelon, and cheese and crackers. You’ll fill up healthfully without having to leave your lounge chair.

At the movie theater

At the movie theater
Step away from that monstrous tub of fattening popcorn! Instead, split a box of Raisinets with your movie buddy—they’re full of fiber and antioxidants, and they’ll satisfy your sweet tooth.

On a road trip

On a road trip
While stopping to fill up your tank, pick up some fresh fruit, low-fat yogurt, whole-grain cereal, or string cheese from the gas station mini-mart. Despite being high in sodium, beef jerky is also not a bad choice—it’s low in fat and high in protein.

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At the ballpark

At the ballpark
That stadium hot dog will be strike one against your health. So find a deli that serves fresh sandwiches, such as turkey or grilled chicken on whole wheat bread. Your stadium’s signature dish—such as the spicy tuna “Ichiroll” in Seattle and the crab cake sandwich in Baltimore—can also be a healthy choice. For a lighter snack, shelled peanuts and a light beer are the way to go.

At a theme park or carnival

At a theme park or carnival
Ice cream, churros, and other sweet snacks may be tempting, but think of how sick they’ll make you feel after a few loops on that roller coaster! Choose a soft pretzel instead. Your stomach—and waistline—will thank you.

At a backyard barbecue

At a backyard barbecue
Veggie burgers, grilled chicken breasts, fish fillets, and skewers of lean meats with vegetables are the healthiest choices for your main course. For your side dish, stick with a fresh green salad rather than mayonnaise-laden potato or pasta salad. Drink water instead of soda, and stick with one light beer if you need an alcohol fix. Be careful with condiments and seasonings—they can sneak tons of salt, calories, and fat into your meal. Mustard, relish, and sauerkraut are better sandwich toppers than barbecue sauce, mayo, or ketchup.

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Some people like to travel by train because 
it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of 
an airplane.

Dennis Miller

I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”

Kevin Nealon

“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” 
—Everyone following you on Instagram

@kristencarney

A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.

Comedian Greg Davies

Funny Jokes

Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.

@sixthformpoet

Funny Jokes

Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.

From clientsfromhell.net

Funny Jokes

My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me 
everything you know.”

@NicCageMatch

Funny Jokes

“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” 
—Alcohol

@yoyoha (Josh Hara)

Funny Jokes

My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.

—Jerry Seinfeld

Funny Jokes

Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?

A: A mechanic.

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