The Osteopathic Physician. After making sure you have no serious medical problems, we might try osteopathic manipulation, a technique similar to chiropractic that can help relieve stress and the pain that often accompanies it. In the muscle-energy technique, the doctor guides you through contracting and relaxing different muscles to ease tension. In cranial osteopathy, the doctor manipulates the skull structures to relax the body.
— Gary Ostrow, DO, New York, New York
The Nutritionist. The most important thing is to get enough sleep. When you’re sleep-deprived, stress is magnified and you feel it more. Aim for six to eight hours a night. Find time to exercise, as the endorphins you release during a workout can counter your stress hormones. Foods with tryptophan (turkey, dairy, soy products) can be calming too.
— Lisa Derosimo, MD, Owner, The Weight and Wellness Center, Jupiter, Florida
The Massage Therapist. Just being touched reduces tension, but massage also increases levels of the hormone oxytocin, which helps lower blood pressure and slow your breathing, easing stress. Swedish massage is the most calming, but you can get some of the same results with a hand or foot massage or a back rub from a loved one.
— Patti Darragh, Owner, RejuvinEssence Day Spa, Huntingdon Valley, Pennsylvania
The Meditation Coach. You don’t have to dedicate a huge chunk of time to meditation. You can get stress relief with just ten deep breaths. To do it, sit down in a quiet place, close your eyes and breathe in slowly. Picture the air coming in through your nose and circling to the back of your throat. Exhale through your nose. This practice slows down and relaxes your nervous system. Slowly progress up to 20 minutes a day, if you can.
— Kathy Freston, Los Angeles
The keys to managing stress are understanding the cause and adjusting your physical response. Keep a diary of daily events that frustrate you. Analyze the common thread and challenge the underlying beliefs that cause your responses. Instead of exploding at a co-worker, find a physical outlet for stress, such as walking, stretching, deep breathing.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.