Experts Say These Magic Words Will Change Your Life

Small language tweaks may help you lose weight, beat stress, and strengthen your marriage. Use these tips to teach yourself a health-boosting vocabulary.

View as Slideshow

“I Don’t”

“I Don’t” iStockphoto/Thinkstock
Saying this instead of “I can’t” may make all the difference when you’re trying to give up an unhealthy habit, according to a new study in the Journal of Consumer Research. Authors found that people who were instructed to say “I don’t” in the face of temptation (“I don’t eat ice cream for dessert”) had more autonomy, self-control, and positive behavior changes compared to people who said “I can’t” (as in “I can’t eat ice cream for dessert”).


“Some”Tom Merton/Getty Images
“Nothing’s going right! Everything is out of control!” Sound familiar? When you get stressed, it’s easy to slip into an all-or-nothing mentality. But that can just drag you down, Tamar Chansky, PhD, author of Freeing Yourself from Anxiety, told Woman’s Day magazine. A simple solution: Use the word some. In other words, “Some things are going right, some things aren’t.” Suddenly the glass is looking half-full.

“I’m Sorry”

“I’m Sorry”David Cleveland/Getty Images
Apologizing doesn’t come easy to many of us, and in some cases, copping to blame or fault can downright awkward. But experts told Psychology Today that the specific words you use to apologize are less important to the person you’ve upset than the act itself. In other words, if you’re not exactly sure what to say, a simple heartfelt ‘I’m sorry’ can go a long way. (But make it genuine: Not surprisingly, research shows that insincere apologies can be worse than none at all).

Content continues below ad


“We”Andrew Watson/Getty Images
It may sound smug, but couples who used more collective pronouns, such as “we,” “our,” and “us” had more positive interactions and showed fewer signs of stress during fights than those who used more individual ones, such as “I,” “me,” and “you,” according to a University of California, Berkeley study of 154 middle-aged and older couples. "The use of 'we' language is a natural outgrowth of a sense of partnership, of being on the same team, and confidence in being able to face problems together," study co-author Benjamin Seider said in a press release.

“Thank You”

“Thank You”OJO Images/Getty Images
Only one-third of people accept a compliment smoothly, found Binghamton University research reported by Psychology Today. Does this scenario sound familiar? She says: “I love that dress.” You say: “Oh this? I’ve had it for years.” Or, “Thanks—I wish it weren’t so snug though.” Or, “You think? I’m not crazy about the color.” We tend to qualify and clarify, often demeaning ourselves in the process. A better way to respond: Look the person in the eye and simply say, “Thank you.”


You’re not bad for saying no because of too little time, money, or interest. “Saying yes when you need to say no causes burnout,” says author Duke Robinson told “You do yourself and the person making the request a disservice by saying yes all of the time.” If you’re asked to run the bake sale at your child’s school again, the magazine suggests you reply something like, "I know I'm going to disappoint you, but I've decided not to volunteer this year, because I fear I'll end up feeling resentful. Is there any way to get some of the other parents to step up?" For more useful comebacks, click here.

Content continues below ad

“Can You Help Me?”

“Can You Help Me?”Thomas Barwick/Getty Images
On the other hand, admitting when you need a hand—and saying yes to an offer of help—can be transformative. Whether you’re reluctant to ask for support a larger-than-you-can-chew work project or for some babysitting reinforcement during those bleary-eyed days of caring for a newborn, it’s natural to fear looking weak, needy, or incompetent, according to the New York Times. But not asking for help, or declining an offer of it, can sometimes let the problem spiral out of hand. M. Nora Klaver, author of MayDay! Asking for Help in Times of Need offers some specific tips for how to ask for assistance without feeling weak. For one, say thanks immediately, then after you’ve gotten the help you need, and then when you next see the person.

Want to stay smart and healthy?

Get our weekly Health Reads newsletter

how we use your e-mail
We will use your email address to send you the newsletter each week, and we may also send you occasional special offers from Reader's Digest. For more information please read our privacy policy.

2 thoughts on “Experts Say These Magic Words Will Change Your Life

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Some people like to travel by train because 
it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of 
an airplane.

Dennis Miller

I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”

Kevin Nealon

“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” 
—Everyone following you on Instagram


A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.

Comedian Greg Davies

Funny Jokes

Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.


Funny Jokes

Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.


Funny Jokes

My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me 
everything you know.”


Funny Jokes

“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” 

@yoyoha (Josh Hara)

Funny Jokes

My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.

—Jerry Seinfeld

Funny Jokes

Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?

A: A mechanic.

Fields marked with an * are required
Foods That Harm Foods That HealWant a Free eBook?
FOODS THAT HARM, FOODS THAT HEAL offers important information about the role diet plays in the struggle against heart disease, cancer, diabetes and other serious illnesses. Answer the question below to receive your FREE digital eBook.

Someone in my household experiences the following conditions:

Send me a link to download FOODS THAT HARM, FOODS THAT HEAL:
By clicking below, I agree to the Trusted Media Brands Privacy Policy