“I’m So Tired I’ll Try Anything”: Silly Sleep Solutions

Working with four hours of sleep right now? Then this slideshow will make perfect sense to you.

View as Slideshow

Scenario: You just watched a scary movie

1. I am not pregnant. 2. I don’t own a satin pajama set. 3. I don’t care. This Leachco Snoogle pregnancy pillow is shaped like a big padded “C” so that you can spoon it or it can spoon you. Genius.

Scenario: You’re lonely

Who needs a real boyfriend when you can have a knitted one? Dutch artist Noortje de Keijzer sewed together a life-size man as part of her design school graduation. Features include staying warm in the winter, no itchy stubble and a great source of static electricity.

Scenario: You can’t get comfortable

According to Wonder How To, it can be very effective to rub your belly as one might rub, say, a baby hedgehog. Start at your navel and rub your belly in bigger and bigger clockwise circles and then small and smaller counter-clockwise circles. Repeat.

Content continues below ad

Scenario: Your brain won’t turn off

There’s nothing more distracting than this woman’s robotic voice telling you that, “no matter how relaxed you become, you can still relax many times deeper.” Listen to the full two-hours and her droning speech will surely put you to sleep.

Scenario: Pulled an all-nighter and there’s no turning back

If you’re truly sleep-deprived and delirious, the UpRight Sleeper may start to seem tempting. The Sleeper ($39.99) is a device that straps around your back and allows your chin to rest in a padded, bendable frame so that you can sleep on the train, in line for the bus or even at the office.

Content continues below ad

Become more interesting every week!

Get our Read Up newsletter

how we use your e-mail
We will use your email address to send you this newsletter. For more information please read our privacy policy.

Funny Jokes
Some people like to travel by train because 
it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of 
an airplane. Dennis Miller
Funny Jokes
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.” Kevin Nealon
Funny Jokes
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” 
—Everyone following you on Instagram @kristencarney
Funny Jokes
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water. Comedian Greg Davies
Funny Jokes
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous. @sixthformpoet
Funny Jokes
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral. From clientsfromhell.net
Funny Jokes
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me 
everything you know.” @NicCageMatch
Funny Jokes
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” 
—Alcohol @yoyoha (Josh Hara)
Funny Jokes
My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that's the law. —Jerry Seinfeld
Funny Jokes
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse's mouth? A: A mechanic.