If you wear dentures, don’t waste your hard-earned money on fancy cleaners. Combine 1 tablespoon of household bleach and 1 teaspoon of water softener in 1 cup of water.
Place removable full dentures (those with no metal parts) in the solution and soak for 1/2 hour. Remove the dentures and brush and rinse them thoroughly with plain water. Store your dentures in plain water when you’re not wearing them.
To get rid of calcium deposits on dentures, soak them overnight in 1/2 cup of white vinegar ever two weeks. Then brush and rinse thoroughly.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.