Apply to dance slippers, shoes, and pajamas
Avoid nasty falls caused by slippery plastic dance slippers — and even new shoes. Cut small pieces of bathtub appliqués and apply them to the sole of each slipper or shoe. You can also sew cut pieces of an appliqué on the soles of your children’s “feet” pajamas to prevent slips (and tears).
Stick to bottom of kids’ wading pool
A few bathtub appliqués applied to the floor of a kiddie pool will make it a lot less slippery for little feet and help prevent falls — especially when the water play turns rowdy. Also put a couple of appliqués along the edges of the pool to give kids easy places to grip onto.
Affix to sippy cups and high-chair seats
Cut pieces of a bathtub appliqué and put them on toddlers’ sippy cups to minimize spills. Also attach appliqués to high-chair seats to keep little ones from sliding down — or out.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.