No-cost gift wrap
Cut out pages with colorful magazine advertisements and use them to make lovely gift wrap for small gifts.
Keep wet boots in shape
Roll up a couple of old magazines and use them as boot trees inside a pair of damp boots. The magazines will help the boots maintain their shape as they dry.
Use in kids’ craft projects
Save up your old magazines for use in rainy-day craft projects with the kids. Let them go through the magazines to find pictures and words to use in collages. Suggest themes for the collages if you like.
Pages from large magazines with heavy coated paper make wonderful liners for small dresser and desk drawers. Look for advertisements with especially colorful designs or pictures. Clip the page, place inside the drawer, and press around the edges to define where to trim with scissors.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.