Wipe out dangerous wasps
Those wasps have been getting a little too close for comfort, threatening to bring your child’s outing to the park to a screeching halt. Take a plastic container and fill it with water sweetened with sugar. Cut a hole in the lid. Wasps will be attracted to the water and crawl inside, trapped.
Keep ants away from picnic table
You watch helplessly as the ants march up the picnic table leg, onto the tabletop, and into the picnic meal. Here’s a foolproof way to stop them in their tracks: Place a plastic container on the bottom of each picnic table leg. Fill with water. The ants won’t be able to crawl past.
Use as a portable dog dish
The next time you go out for a hike with your dog, pack a portion of its food in a plastic container. Of course, you can pack another container with a snack for yourself. An empty container also makes a great water bowl on the go.
Organize your sewing area
You’re sitting down at your sewing area to start on your Christmas craft projects. But instead of sewing, you’re hunting for that extra bobbin or the right-color thread. Plastic containers can help you bring order to your sewing area. Fill several with thread spools, others with implements such as seam rippers and measuring tapes. Yet another can be filled with pins.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.