Use to clean hands
The next time your hands get dirty on a camping trip, save that hard-lugged water for cooking and drinking. Squirt a little shaving cream in your hands and rub as you would liquid soap. Then wipe your hands off with a towel.
Prevent bathroom mirror fog-up
Before you shower, wipe some shaving cream onto your bathroom mirror. It will keep it from fogging up so you don’t have to wait to get to work with your toiletries or shaving after you get out of the shower.
Remove stains from carpeting
Your little one’s very sorry for spilling a little juice on the carpet, so make it “all better” with some shaving cream on the spot. Blot the stain, pat it with a wet sponge, squirt some shaving cream on it, and then wipe clean with a damp sponge. Use the same technique on your clothes for small stains; shaving cream can remove that spot of breakfast you discovered you’re wearing during your once-over in the bathroom.
Silence a squeaky door hinge
A squeaky door hinge can ruin a peaceful naptime. With its ability to seep into nooks and crannies, a little shaving cream on the hinge will let you check on the baby undetected.
Some people like to travel by train because it combines the slowness of a car with the cramped public exposure of an airplane.
I think my pilot was a little inexperienced. We were sitting on the runway, and he said, “OK, folks, we’re gonna be taking off in a just few—whoa! Here we go.”
“I can’t wait until your vacation is over.” —Everyone following you on Instagram
A man knocked on my door and asked for a donation toward the local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.
Comedian Greg Davies
Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest, and disingenuous.
Client: We need you to log in to the YouTube and make all our company videos viral.
My cat just walked up to the paper shredder and said, “Teach me everything you know.”
“Just because you can’t dance doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance.” —Alcohol
@yoyoha (Josh Hara)
My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.
Q: What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horse’s mouth?
A: A mechanic.